Monday, April 07, 2008

I will not doubt

This past year has been a year of much loss for our little family. We lost our income in July. We lost our beloved church home in August. We lost a precious little baby in September. We lost a restaurant opportunity that we had been working on for months, this February.

None of these things is yet resolved.

I was recently talking with some friends and one of them said to me, "Patti, you work harder than anyone I know. Yet your goals all seem so far away." She said it with the utmost love and compassion. It was true, and yet immediately I knew there was something not quite true about it.

And it hit me, so I said, "As hard as all this has been, my REAL goal is to end up in the arms of Jesus forever, and He is ever with me. No matter what has happened, or will happen, no matter how I feel, God is God is God is God, and He is constantly with me."

That is what I meant when I chose the title of this blog. My long journey is home into His arms. The adventures along the way are the stuff of my life.

I read this poem today and wanted to share it with you. It speaks so much to my heart and my circumstances, that I kept saying "Yes! Yes!" out loud as I read it:

I will not doubt, though all my ships at sea
Come drifting home with broken masts and sails;
I will believe the Hand that never fails,
From seeming evil works to good for me.
And though I weep because those sails are tattered,
Still will I cry, while my best hopes lie shattered:
"I trust in Thee."

I will not doubt, though all my prayers return
Unanswered from the still, white realm above;
I will believe it is an all-wise love
That has refused these things for which I yearn;
And though at times I cannot keep from grieving,
Yet the pure passion of my fixed believing
Undimmed will burn.

I will not doubt, though sorrows fall like rain,
And troubles swarm like bees about a hive.
I will believe the heights for which I strive
Are only reached by anguish and by pain;
And though I groan and writhe beneath my crosses,
Yet I will see through my severest losses
The greater gain

I will not doubt. Well anchored is this faith,
Like some staunch ship, my soul braves every gale;
So strong its courage that it will not fail
To face the mighty unknown sea of death.
Oh, may I cry, though body leaves the spirit,
"I do not doubt," so listening worlds may hear it,
With my last breath.


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